3 Eye-Opening Lessons I Learned From Working With A Career Coach
Sometimes the best advice comes from a neutral person
If there was one resolution for 2021 that I could easily keep, it was to get enough sleep. Ever since I lost my job ten months ago, my alarm clock stopped ringing in the morning. So in terms of sleep, I was in a heavenly state.
Other than that, the past year was dominated by a tedious job search. I sent out dozens of applications for marketing positions and had one interview after another. But no one wanted to hire me, and I kept asking myself what the problem was.
I didn’t believe the problem was my application documents. After all, about 30% of the companies I applied to invited me for an interview. So was I perhaps not convincing in the interview then?
As in all desperate situations in my life, I finally received a sign from heaven. I heard from a respected career coach in my area. His name was Michael. Before starting his own business as a coach, Michael had worked for decades as an HR director in various industrial companies. So if anyone had to know about hiring processes, it was him.
I contacted him right away. Luckily, I could snag the last available spot in his busy schedule. Then our eight-week collaboration began. I knew Michael wasn’t someone who just scratched the surface of things right away. He wouldn’t just help me find a job. We’d dig deeper to find out who I am as a person and what I stand for in life.
And that’s what we did. I laughed, cried, and gained long-overdue insights for my professional and personal development in the coaching sessions. I want to share my insights with you, hoping that you can take something away for yourself.
1. I Need To Look at New Life Chapters Like a Curious Child
In the first session, Michael sat down next to me and drew a picture from the perspective of a car driver. I could see a long road with several exits through the car’s windshield. The rearview mirror reflected the distance traveled.
In this scenario, I was the driver, and I had a choice — either focus on the road ahead (my future) or keep looking in the rearview mirror (my past). The message was clear. In both my professional and personal life, I can only have positive experiences if I stop dredging up negative feelings from the past over and over again.
Michael noticed my tendency to anticipate and vividly describe conflict scenarios with future colleagues before I had even found a new job. Having had so much friction with previous colleagues, I was sure to experience nerve-wracking situations with future colleagues.
Michael told me to look ahead 90% of the time as I drive along my “life path.” The remaining 10% of the time, I’m allowed to look back to reflect on what I experienced. Because I used to overinterpret the behavior of others, I ran the risk of ruining a chapter of my life that had not even begun.
Instead of immediately looking for the bad in new acquaintances, I should look at them with the curiosity of a child.
Speaking of curiosity, I also told Michael about my writing journey. He responded enthusiastically, pointing his finger at the car driver drawing. My side-hustle — writing online — represented an exit from the road. I had already left the long road to follow my curiosity. I was already exploring new places. Then Michael revealed a fact that immediately gave me goosebumps. Only a handful of the 350+ customers he had advised dared to do what I was already doing: take an exit and enter uncharted territory.
That’s why I should keep writing.
If you have a project you’re passionate about in addition to your corporate job, keep in mind that you’re one of the few brave ones. You may go to places you never dreamed of.
2. A Personality Analysis Has Increased My Understanding of Myself and Others
The next part of the coaching was about taking stock of my personality. Michael gave me five different lists that revolved around the following sub-areas of personality:
- strengths
- qualities
- favorite interests
- values
- life goals
Out of hundreds of examples of strengths, qualities, interests, and so on, I was to mark the three that best matched my personality. Considering that most people have more than three qualities or three values, this wasn’t an easy task. So I took my time and circled the words that screamed at me the loudest. Then I created the following chart:
After that, I took a 120-question test based on the scientifically recognized Big Five personality model. According to this model, there are five main dimensions of personality:
- openness to experience
- conscientiousness
- extraversion
- agreeableness
- neuroticism
The test evaluation described how strong the five dimensions were in my personality. I also received clues about how people with opposite personality traits might perceive me. For example, I’m open to new experiences and need a lot of variety in my everyday life. People who prefer the familiar to the unknown might find my openness challenging. Another result was that I like to go my own way and state my opinion clearly. These qualities are likely to strain people who can’t bear confrontation.
The Big Five model doesn’t distinguish between “bad” or “good” personalities. It’s about understanding different personality structures. My personality structure differs from the personality structures of my colleagues and friends, which makes sense. Individuals are meant to complement each other and fulfill different functions in the collective.
In today’s world, we seek fulfillment in all areas of life. That’s why it’s essential to take a close look at our personalities and the people around us. This way, we find out what kind of company, team, and tasks suit us best and bring us closer to our life goals.
The Big Five model is also helpful for managers who want to put together a new team. Once managers understand the personality structure of their (potential) team members, they can distribute tasks that allow everyone on the team to do what they enjoy most.
3. My Application Documents and Self-Presentation in the Job Interview Have To Play the Same Tune
My personality analysis served as the basis for the last part of the coaching — finding a job. I first had to understand who I was to find a suitable job. Sounds super logical, right? It is.
However, in my pre-coaching days, I was much more concerned with finding the next “good” job than thinking deeply about who I was as an individual. As a result, I presented myself in job interviews in a way that I thought was “right.” And even when I thought I ticked all the boxes for a job, I ended up getting a rejection.
I ignored one crucial aspect:
My authentic self must shine through at every stage of the application process.
What do I mean by that?
Let’s start with the topic of job ads. After my personality analysis, I started reading job ads very differently. Michael asked me to look closely at job ads and company websites and write down the terms/phrases that immediately spoke to me. Then I had to explain to him why those words appealed to me emotionally.
For example, one particular company described its culture and values in great detail. The following statements stuck in my head:
- “We are responding to a global trend.”
- “You can make a big difference with us.”
- “There is always the chance for the next quantum leap.”
- “Leave your footprint in our company.”
- “Be bold!”
This company knew exactly what it stood for and where it was going — which is a rarity. (Frankly, most companies either can’t properly describe their mission and values, or they don’t have any). I immediately felt I could pursue my natural curiosity and grow as a person at this company. After all, I’m a determined person and open to new experiences.
And they were looking for someone in marketing. I first marked the tasks and requirements I was best at in the job description. Then I adjusted my resume by describing five tasks under each former employer that were most relevant to the open position. Also, I matched my IT skills and soft skills to the job requirements.
“The resume is a living document,” Michael kept telling me. The resume always needs to be customized to the job description. Never should I send only one version to every company.
The cover letter is a living document as well. It should speak the same language as the resume and the job ad. A cover letter should consist of three parts: the motivation part (5–6 lines), the main part (9–10 lines), and the conclusion (4–5 lines).
Describing my motivation for the job was the most challenging part. I looked at my notes on the company’s spirit again and aligned them with my values and goals. As a result, I wrote the following first lines:
“Behind every global trend is an intense desire for simplicity and a higher quality of life. You are responding to this desire with your innovative solutions around the topic of Industry 4.0. You need employees who can make big things happen for your big goals. This is in line with my goals, as I want to leave my footprint in my work environment, in the industry, and society.”
In the main part of the cover letter, I described the tasks I was most skilled at. I sprinkled my soft skills in between the lines. The conclusion emphasized the overall message.
Michael read my new cover letter and then said to me, “Finally, your true self shines through. Your previous cover letters sounded like they were cobbled together from various templates on the Internet — they had no clear message. And you are not a person without a message. You’re a confident person with a strong attitude.”
Michael even claimed that the real reason for my rejections was the discrepancy between my old cover letters and my behavior in the interviews. The recruiters had read my cover letter first and imagined a wallflower. Then I caused confusion with my confident behavior in the interview. The recruiters couldn’t unite these two different images of me. In other words: I wasn’t authentic enough for them.
Anyone who believes that recruiters no longer take the time to read cover letters is mistaken. Good recruiters are psychologically trained and understand the core message of a cover letter in less than a minute. Then, during the interview, they can immediately smell whether an applicant is authentic or not.
The best and easiest strategy for applicants is to be who they are — from choosing the job posting to creating the application documents to the interview.
A less promising strategy, for example, would be to memorize the “right” answers to common questions and then recite them each time like a trained monkey.
Take Away
Aside from getting enough sleep for months, my unemployment brought new, extraordinary people into my life. If I had not lost my job unexpectedly, I’d never have met people like Michael. Michael saw me as an individual and chose a unique approach. He didn’t have a standard approach in store that he forced on me. Authenticity meant everything to him. As a result, he was able to bring out the best version of me.
The highlight of the coaching sessions was that I found a job that fits my true self. I’ve been working for over two weeks now. For the first time in my professional life, I feel like I’ve landed in an inspiring environment.
If you have lost focus in your professional life, I highly recommend working with a career coach. It’s a worthwhile investment if you find a good coach. In my opinion, an excellent coach brings both leadership experience and psychological training.
